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The Daily Grind
Wednesday, August 31st
Premiere Party
Yesterday I spent the afternoon over at Playboy Radio, today is their last day on XM Radio. They will be switching to a different Satellite company and continuing there. Rumor has it there is a bunch of new programing in the works so cross your fingers for me. Anyway, it was a fun show as always with Tiffany Granath, Christy Canyon, Ginger Lynn, myself and Gia Paloma. We girls got to gossiping and giggling and the entire show was ADD.
Tonight Eli and I will be attending the Redlight District (sister company to Platinum X) “premiere” of Darkside tonight. It is ridiculous really. They are having it in a bar in Beverly Hills, open bar and food, then we all sit and watch a porn movie from beginning to end. Weird huh? All these adults in one big room watching a porn movie together. I guess that shows you how desensatized we get. Eli was in the running to shoot this film (on actual film even) but lost out to James Avalon. James is a great director, don’t get me wrong, he does beatiful stuff, but what Redlight was looking for is a beautiful, great film with “Redlight District-style sex” - hardcore nasty gonzo sex. Eli could have done that, easily. But James Avalon? I don’t think so. They acually had a Redlight District gonzo director on the set to make sure they got the sex they wanted. Can you imagine being a porn director and having the company bring someone else in to direct the sex scenes? I am betting it will be gorgeous, but softer instead of nasty. I am curious to see if I am wrong. I hope so, for the sake of David (the owner) who put up the money for this.
kylie@kylieireland.com">kylie@kylieireland.com">Kylie on 08.31.05 @ 06:01 PM pt [link]
Thursday, August 25th
Kylie & Eli Host Temptation!
Kylie & Eli host Temptation!
As if your weekly dose of Kylie Live wasn't enough for the next two weeks you are going to get an extra 2 hours a week with Eli and I as we fill in on Temptation while Rainy and Cuzz take some well-deserved long weekends.
Friday August 25th and September 2nd we will be sitting in for them and we hope you will join us to see how badly we can fuck up their show! (Just kidding.) Just be there these 2 Fridays at 10 pm for...something.
Also coming up on Kylie Live Sept 8th award-winning director Nic Andrews will be coming in to share some clips from and tell us all about his new movie Dark Angels 2.
Sept 22nd director David Lord and several hotties (including Taryn Thomas) from his latest Evil Angel release will be dropping by.
Lots going on over the next month! Don't miss a thing.
kylie@kylieireland.com">kylie@kylieireland.com">Kylie on 08.25.05 @ 05:01 PM pt [link]
Wednesday, August 24th
Date with a Porn Star
Date with a Porn Star was certainly an adventure! I showed up at the restaurant and the director told me to go around the corner and into this room and my couple would be there…so I strut into the room and there are a whole bunch of people and I am thinking “Oh fuck, I just went into the wrong room!”, then I saw the cameras and was really confused. Apparently during the game show segment (which I wasn’t supposed attend) the celebrity judges (Wankus, Robert Lombard and Aimee Sweet) couldn’t decide which couple to give me to so they gave me to all of them – they all won.
Aw...aren't they cute? - Clint & Carrie
kylie@kylieireland.com">kylie@kylieireland.com">Kylie on 08.24.05 @ 10:39 PM pt [link]
More of my dates...
It turns out they were all swinger couples (man, back before porn when I went to swing clubs back in Colorado the swingers didn’t look like this!) and they were all from Dallas. So the 7 of us just decided to have a grand old time. We talked and laughed and drank (well they drank, I faked drinking sake for the show – I didn’t want to seem like a total fuddy-duddy) and we made a good attempt at the Korean food. After dinner we piled into the stretch Lincoln Navigator (land-barge) and headed over to El Cholo, one of the best Mexican restaurants in LA for a “real” dinner.
Chris & Carole
After that it was back to my downtown loft. The idea was to bring the couple back and scare them a little; you know shock them and get the surprise on their faces when I bring them into the dungeon.
kylie@kylieireland.com">kylie@kylieireland.com">Kylie on 08.24.05 @ 10:37 PM pt [link]
Wild Thing
Beware! She bites!
It was fun having 3 couples to play with and I enjoyed making them do nasty things to each other. Everyone (especially Blaze, the redhead) had a good buzz or better and before long they were all fucking. Now this is being shot for HBO or Skinamax so all they need is softcore but that didn’t matter to them! A while later they shot post-date interviews and everyone parted ways.
Would I do it again? Despite what I said in my post-date interview – nah. Not because of the people (my dates) – they were all really cool and we all had a blast. Just because it really wasn’t my thing. I have always been lousy at dating anyway though.
The director wasn’t sure of the air dates but promised to let me know when he found out. I’ll be sure to post times and stations here as soon as I know them.
kylie@kylieireland.com">kylie@kylieireland.com">Kylie on 08.24.05 @ 10:36 PM pt [link]
Group grope
Today we all gathered at Alex Sanders’ house for the pick–up scene on that movie we shot a few months back in Long Island. More than anything it was fun to get together and snack on all my girlies again! Venus stuck an absolutely enormous toy in her ass and we DP’ed Nicki. Of course I’ll keep you posted on actual titles and release dates as I get them. Perhaps I can even sneak a video clip for ya! Till then, here are some teaser pix!
Don't you wish you were in the middle of this?
kylie@kylieireland.com">kylie@kylieireland.com">Kylie on 08.24.05 @ 10:34 PM pt [link]
Nicki tastes good!
How many licks does it take to get to the center?
kylie@kylieireland.com">kylie@kylieireland.com">Kylie on 08.24.05 @ 10:24 PM pt [link]
Venus' Ass Rocks!
And yes, the entire thing was in her ass - all 4 knobs...
kylie@kylieireland.com">kylie@kylieireland.com">Kylie on 08.24.05 @ 10:23 PM pt [link]
Pfft! says Buster
kylie@kylieireland.com">kylie@kylieireland.com">Kylie on 08.24.05 @ 10:20 PM pt [link]
Tuesday, August 23rd
Blind Date with a Porn Star
That is my grand activity for the day. HBO and B-Movie agent extraordinaire Robert Lombard, wants me to shoot some stuff with him coming up in September - which should be cool. I never really did much acting on HBO, Skinamax or Showtime stuff so it will be a nice change of pace.
In the mean time he roped me into Blind Date with a Porn Star. Basically there was a panel of judges that talked to 3 couples, ala Blind Date Style. Some of the stars get singles, I get a couple. Anyway, so the panel of judges picks my date and we meet, have dinner, drinks and whatever. I am supposed to go to this Korean restaurant at 5pm tonight. where the crew will meet me, wire me for sound and send me in to meet my date(s). If things go well, the plan is to bring them back to my place and scare the hell out of them by showing them the dungeon. Perhaps some naughtiness will go on. The webcams are working again [for the moment] so peek in and see.
I'll try to write about it tonight, although depending on how late it goes, I may just fall into bed since I have to get up fairly early tomorrow to head over to Alex Sanders' house to shoot that pick-up scene from the Long Island movie we shot a couple months back. It will be a fun and easy scene to shoot - just a bunch of girls rolling around and getting nasty...don't you wish you could be there?
kylie@kylieireland.com">kylie@kylieireland.com">Kylie on 08.23.05 @ 01:18 PM pt [link]
Sunday, August 21st
Tailgunners
Yeah, yeah…so I am way behind in my journal. But what’s a girl to do? After shooting for a month, the prep and the paperwork, and wrapping up three movies, it takes awhile to reintroduce yourself back into the real world. I had everything to catch up on since when I am directing I concentrate on that.
Lemme catch you up on some stories:
Back on the 10th Adam & Eve had cast me in their next big project (please see the entry “Adam & Eve Wednesday”; August 9th), Tailgunners, and oh was THAT a long day. Starting at 7:30 am first up was a whole load of dialogue – dialogue? Boy am I spoiled doing gonzo! – most of which was with Phil Harvey, the real life owner of Adam & Eve, who was playing the President. It was dialogue all morning until it was time for the BJ. Yes, I had agreed to do a BJ scene. I don’t like them. Not to say I don’t like giving blowjobs, I just don’t like doing the as an entire scene in a movie. But not without a lot of bargaining though. I suffer from TMJ and was NOT into doing a BJ scene that would last 45 minutes while they shot a million takes. Nic Orleans had promised me we would shoot it “real time” meaning 5-10 minutes. Based on that, I agreed. I should have known better.
Nic Orleans directing
The BJ was with Tyler Night, very nice, soft-spoken, good-looking black guy. I walk onto the set and they are preparing a fancy wall with a hole in it…suddenly it dawned on me. A glory hole. Well there certainly was a detail Nic had left out! I am sure this is payback for the glory hole scene I shot the week before for my PXP movie On Your Knees Bitch. After all I was wandering around on the set saying that there was no way in hell you could ever get me to do a glory hole scene. No interaction, bumping your nose into the wall… and now here I was. I told myself it was only for 10 minutes, that we were shooting it real-time, right? Right?
kylie@kylieireland.com">kylie@kylieireland.com">Kylie on 08.21.05 @ 06:44 PM pt [Tailgunners">link]
Tailgunners - Kylie
Well, Nic Orleans decided that the BJ should be intermixed with the dialogue, meaning sucky sucky, deliver a line, sucky, line, sucky line…you get the picture. It will look great in the final edit but that was not that simple to shoot. Especially since Phil Harvey was there as the President was in the room, also delivering dialogue. I continued to suck between takes, etc. because I am nice person, I just didn’t wanna leave poor Tyler hangin’ there through the hole in the wall. Not to mention we needed him to stay hard through the scene, so I sucked away. THREE HOURS LATER we finished the dialogue – hard, soft, and all angles of singles (Tyler’s, Phil’s, mine and wide) when Nic called for the pop. After waiting for 5-10 minutes Tyler still hadn’t popped (not that all the people talking in the room, the glory hole in the fucking way and Nic Orleans trying to rush him had anything to do with it – duh) and Nic decided to finish the BJ later and switch sets since we only had until 2pm before Phil had to skidaddle to the airport.
kylie@kylieireland.com">kylie@kylieireland.com">Kylie on 08.21.05 @ 06:42 PM pt [Tailgunners - Kylie">link]
Tailgunners - Kylie again
They wrap up the dialogue with Phil and shoot en entire sex scene before coming back to pick up the final shots of the BJ. During this break I sat by the pool in the back yard with Crickett (my assistant for the day) and practiced upcoming dialogue. I also managed to lock myself in the bathroom by accident while doing my girly-stuff (douche/enema, etc) and had to be rescued by one of the crew guys, Tony, who had done exactly the same thing earlier in the day.
We all broke for lunch after the scene and went back pick up the BJ after that. Then it was off to turn me around – different hair, different outfit - for the big scene where the First Lady convinces the three Senators to allow women to fly…well, make that two Senators, Kris Slater flaked. Oddly, I have been scheduled to work with Kris in other features over the past year and this is the third time he has no-showed. I am beginning to take it personal.
kylie@kylieireland.com">kylie@kylieireland.com">Kylie on 08.21.05 @ 06:40 PM pt [Tailgunners - Kylie again">link]
Tailgunners - Kylie & the Senators
The scene started out like a house of fire but then crash and burned. One of the guys started having wood trouble (a hard time keeping it hard) and it was tough going from then on out. I tried to do everything I could to help out, but mostly to no avail. Hey, every now and then a guy has a bad day. It happens. It could have been anything, it was hot, it was late, Nic was rushing us cause he was paying overtime on the house…guys are mostly mental when it comes to sex. We managed to get enough DP action for the editors to work with and I am sure it will edit fine, it just made for a much longer shoot than we were planning on.
On the way home Crickett and I figured out that the shoot was nearly 16 hours, and that I had been sucking cock for about four hours of that. Makes my jaw ache just thinking about it.
Well, more stories and photos to come later.
kylie@kylieireland.com">kylie@kylieireland.com">Kylie on 08.21.05 @ 06:37 PM pt [Tailgunners - Kylie & the Senators">link]
Tuesday, August 16th
Lauren Phoenix: Fuck Me
I shot a scene in this movie back in March of 2004 and it is just now getting released!
September 2005:
Lauren Phoenix Fuck Me – Harmony (Evil Angel) - 9/2 - featuring Lauren Phoenix, Ariana Jollee, Haley Paige, Jayna Oso, Taylor Rain, Roxy Jezel, Angelica Sin, Sophia, Melissa Lauren, Kylie Ireland, Eve Laurence
To read the entry from back then click on the archives (scroll down about halfway on this page and you will see it on the right side)... 3/16/04 is the date and it's titled Fuck Me. Originally I thought it was Ariana Jolie's Fuck Me (it's a series) but it was actually in Lauren's. It should be a very hot scene!
kylie@kylieireland.com">kylie@kylieireland.com">Kylie on 08.16.05 @ 11:01 AM pt [link]
Saturday, August 13th
Yesterday's shoot at the loft
We had a last minute rental for the loft yesterday and since we were shooting MY movies in the valley, we decided to leave Crickett at home to watch over the place...
I'll post more details on MY shoot later but until then Crickett's observations of the movie being shot here are absolutley unbelievable...
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Crickett's LiveJournal Entries for yesterday, August, 12th:
4 pm
The differences between pornos...
So, while the rest of the gang are off shooting other scenes, I'm here minding the homestead because there's also a shoot here. Most of the girls are marginally pretty, one is completely psycho but okay-looking, and one is simply not attractive AT ALL. (My opinion, folks. Your mileage may vary.)
From what I've overheard, they're shooting something involving aliens and a DP, and right now they've got a girl in one of the rolling cash boxes we have. (The rolling cash box is the type they use in banks and at Disney and shit...it's HUGE with a metal frame and clear side panels.) She's beating on it, screaming, "Help me, let me out of here" blah blah blah, and then she finally realizes that the top opens, so she emerges and comes through the fence. As soon as she does, the guy grabs her by the neck, and in the words of the director, "throw her on the bed and fuck the shit out of her".
WTF??????
Okay, so also, there is a giant ashtray outside. This must be why everyone who goes out to smoke decides that the best place for their cigarette butts is on the ground. Now, I don't know about how locations work, but I do know that any other place that a person can rent for other purposes tend to charge you extra if you have to clean up after them. Also, I feel bad for the P.A., who's a nice kid and has been running his ass off, because I mentioned the butts to him (as in, "Honey, do me a favour? When you see anyone going out to smoke, would you please let them know that there's a giant ashtray right by the door???) he said, "Jesus christ, these fuckin' people. I don't even smoke and I knew that there was a giant ashtray out there. I fuckin' put out a garbage can in plain sight, these fuckers just drop shit on the floor right next to it. I'm a P.A., not a fuckin' slave." I feel bad for him.
I got to watch some of the other kind of BTS shot as well. The kind that I don't shoot. The kind that feels like sort of a ripoff to me when I find it on a DVD. The Extended Interview BTS. Basically, one guy with the camera starts talking to the girl. How old are you? Do you like to get fucked in the ass? When did you lose your virginity? Then either he starts groping her or she starts groping herself and then she plays with herself long enough to get some good footage, moaning WAY over the top the whole time, and then she fakes an O, the cameraman says something inane, and then they cut. I fucking roll my eyes at this. Everybody can tell that she totally doesn't even get off on what she's doing, and perhaps the shooters feel like the men they're marketing this to (being the visual creatures that they are) can be duped by this and are pleased by it as well. And perhaps they are. I dunno. I tend to give the average guy more credit than that. But maybe I'm wrong. I dunno. I just know that when I see something that says, "BEHIND THE SCENES", I'd like it to not be a staged thing but real actual behind the scenes footage, be it people fucking without being asked to (i.e. "oh, I asked him to help me warm up for the anal scene" or like when we shot with Manuel and Venus when they just couldn't control themselves), people being goofy and telling jokes, or just a glimpse at what it takes to get the shot that makes the director happy. Not some stupid staged bullshit with a fake orgasm and over-the-top moaning by some butterface in cheap lingerie.
Was that too harsh? Pardon me. *shrug* Whatever. Onward.
After the crew got here today and I was introduced around, I let them know where I'd be and then went up to B.'s office to nap with the cats. And had all sorts of dreams that were pertaining to me watching over the shoot, but were also really really pervy. Weird.
Anyway, that's the observations from today so far. I think I may go and game for a while, if just to pass the time, because this is boring as shit. I wanna find out the name of this production so I can make sure to walk wiiide circles around it when it's released.
6:05 pm
Please stand by...the scene is experiencing technical difficulties...
Okay, so the fucking has started...stopped....started...stopped. Various ploys have been tried (nono, it's fine, let's just shoot softcore for a while...do we wanna go for the A?), and now the male talent has decided that he can't bang the butterface. So he's got a beer and is in the makeup room, the director has asked the PA to bring him a lime to go with his Corona. The stills guy is packing up his equipment, whistling the theme to the Alfred Hitchcock show, and the rest of the gang are fucking about, ogling the pool, etc. while they wait for everything to get straightened out. One of the other guys is now shooting the non-BTS BTS with one of the girls who's actually decent-looking, as she sits in K.'s reading chair. My only issue is that I know that the blanket I made for K. is draped on the arm of that chair, and if the skank gets any smeg on that blanket, I'mma hafta throw a beatdown.
More newsflashes as they occur.
EDIT: Thankfully, there's other male talent on set, and he's having no problem getting his dick sucked by Butterface. Actually, Butterface is the wrong word, because she's also bony with no ass, hair that looks like a bad wig, and weird pointy tits. But hey - different strokes for different folks, and I guess that this guy has his eye on the prize (the paycheque at the other end of this scene). The other guy is still in the makeup room with his beer, gradually becoming more dressed, and talking on his cell phone. Occasionally, one of the other girls will go in and climb on him, snuggling up to him, straddling him, whatever.
Menawhile, in the scene, we've gone from cocksucking straight to the A. Doggy. Guess he doesn't wanna look at her face either. Can't say as I blame him.
6:50 pm
So far, the quote of the day...
Director to the P.A. after he's just a second late in fetching water and lube: You're over there texting! What GUY does that??? You look like a bitch! Porn bitches sit over in the corner and text all the time. You look like a little porn bitch. Aurora Snow would do that. STOP THAT!!!
10:19 pm
Aaaaaand....
I've just realized that the male talent here has just done the whole fucking scene wearing socks.
Black ones.
Pulled all the way up to mid-calf.
*headdesk*
11:15 am
OMG...It's *not* a movie about aliens...
I heard talk about aliens during the shooting of the first scene, which was a DP (double-penetration). Well, apparently they were talking to the girl because she stood up in the middle of the goddamn DP shouting, "If that ASSHOLE would stop PUSHING ME and talking in my fucking EAR!!!" They began to ask, "who???" because they (the guys fucking her and the camera guy and the lighting guy) were quite curious. Well, she hemmed and hawed, just saying, "HE WANTS ME TO LEAVE THE COUNTRY. I'm NOT leaving the country. HE'S LEAVING THE COUNTRY!!!" and that he was flying around above her and stalking her, etc. etc. Finally, she says that it's the alien that's stalking her and he controls the words that come out of her mouth and her thoughts so that she can't say or think her OWN things. Also, he kept calling her on the cell phone in her head and saying that she can't do the DP.
::: blink blink :::
::: blink :::
*facepalm*
kylie@kylieireland.com">kylie@kylieireland.com">Kylie on 08.13.05 @ 10:37 AM pt [link]
Friday, August 12th
Back to makin' dirty movies...
Starting today it's back to work. Over the next 3 days I'll directing 2 scenes each day, which will wrap up the movies, Taste Her Ass 3 and Open for Anal 3. Details and photos to come soon.
BTW, big day for me today. It is my sobriety birthday. That's right, today marks 4 years that I have been clean and sober. Wow...
kylie@kylieireland.com">kylie@kylieireland.com">Kylie on 08.12.05 @ 09:54 AM pt [link]
Tuesday, August 9th
Adam & Eve Wednesday
So director Nic Orleans called me and really, really wanted me to do this movie. Adam & Eve's next BIG MOVIE after the THE PIRATE MOVIE. He tried with all his might to convince me that this was a GREAT ROLE and that I was perfect for it. After much haggling over who I was working with and what I wanted monetarily (and oh, how I HATE that) we settled on a price that I was okay with. (yeah, right, like Adam & Eve doesn't have a big budget for this and that two hundred dollars they were arguing over is such a big deal) I am playing the First Lady. You know you have been in the adult biz for a long time when they start casting you in roles of mature women and mothers. *Sigh* Really, I am a shade over 30, ya all. Hardly First Lady material.
Did I mention that the Senators are being played by Chris Cannon, Talon and Kris Slater? You can stop laughing now. Did I mention my fucking call time is 7:30 am??? That means up at, oh, 5:30-ish to get to the valley location on time. (Hold on while I bang my head on my desk a few times.)
%&*#
@&^#$%
&@#&
Okay then.
Anyway, big budget period piece here. 1940's style flick about the First Lady's fight for women pilots in the military. Visually inspired by Sky Captain they said. I am picturing great costumes and airfields, you know really epic sort of stuff. Then I got the sides for the script.
This line should say it all:
"And the Senators take turns landing model airplanes on the First Lady's tits."
Oh how I wish I were kidding.
kylie@kylieireland.com">kylie@kylieireland.com">Kylie on 08.09.05 @ 09:47 PM pt [link]
First wet cat
3 am
Well, the first cat has gone in and been subsequently rescued. The Sploosh Heard 'Round The Loft was Julius. Thankfully, Crickett was in the office looking right over the pool and saw his little orange self splashin' around frantically. She hollered out, and then ran downstairs to pull the drenched little beastie out of the pool. He managed to nail Crickett pretty good with his hind claws, because he was completely freaking out, but it's nothing that a little Bactine can't handle. As for Juju, well, we followed the trail of water through the house until we found him, hiding under the couch in Bryn's office, lookin' like a drowned rat. He was dragged out, wrapped in towels, and spoken softly to as he was rubbed dry(ish) and petted and soothed. After about 15 or 20 minutes, he heaved a HUGE sigh and finally started to calm down. He's fine, with nothing but damp fur, wounded pride, and mad street cred from the others for being the first one to go in That THING. He'll probably never go anywhere near it again. As for us, we've put the cover over it, tighened the hell out of it, and then flung a bell on it to warn of any further adventurers.
kylie@kylieireland.com">kylie@kylieireland.com">Kylie on 08.09.05 @ 03:50 AM pt [link]
First swim
We frolicked. We gamboled. We splashed and ran around in circles to make a whirlpool (we need those little stick-on plastic flowers on the bottom, because it's slippery) and just confused the living hell out of all the animals. It was awesome. Dude. Middle of the day? This thing is gonna rock out like no tomorrow. Actually, it rocks out anyway. Now we're just laying bets as to which feline is gonna either fall or jump in first.
Fuckin' inflatable pool in the middle of the goddamn house. It will only get better when there's more floaties. Right now, there's just the giant inflatable purple alien, which we all took turns getting pulled around on.
kylie@kylieireland.com">kylie@kylieireland.com">Kylie on 08.09.05 @ 03:48 AM pt [link]
Monday, August 8th
What the hell...?
If you are wondering what that is on the dungeon cam, well...it's a swimming pool. Yup. A swimming pool. We are filling it up. Right here in the warehouse. We are *over* the heat this summer and this is our own personal way of beating it.
Actually Bryn (Eli) thought of it a week or so ago and I didn't think he would do it. I guess I shouldn't have double-dog dared him, huh?
kylie@kylieireland.com">kylie@kylieireland.com">Kylie on 08.08.05 @ 05:28 PM pt [link]
Swimmin' pool!
Perhaps the warning on the side of the pool says it all, huh?
Competent supervision?
kylie@kylieireland.com">kylie@kylieireland.com">Kylie on 08.08.05 @ 05:27 PM pt [link]
Meow?
Of course our little furry creatures are all curious.
When it's full it will be over 4 feet deep and 15 feet wide.
Yes, we might just be insane.
kylie@kylieireland.com">kylie@kylieireland.com">Kylie on 08.08.05 @ 05:27 PM pt [link]
Meow x 2?
What the hell IS that????
kylie@kylieireland.com">kylie@kylieireland.com">Kylie on 08.08.05 @ 05:26 PM pt [link]
Rubber ducky...
The first to swim in the pool.
kylie@kylieireland.com">kylie@kylieireland.com">Kylie on 08.08.05 @ 05:26 PM pt [link]
Saturday, August 6th
BBQ
So Crickett and I are heading out to a Birthday BBQ in Griffith park. A nice normal-people event. Frisbies and watermelon and whatnot.
The kitties got 3 new cat trees today and are flipping out over them, most amusing indeeed.
Tomorrow is a "content day" with Joe Friday and Reina (refer to earlier post on On Your Knees Bitch, they were the cops). Julie Night and Jen X are coming too. Jen X wants to "practice doing anal sex" before I shoot her next weekend for Open for Anal 3, who am I to say no? We'll be shooting here at my loft so check the cams!
More later.
kylie@kylieireland.com">kylie@kylieireland.com">Kylie on 08.06.05 @ 03:43 PM pt [link]
Friday, August 5th
On Your Knees Bitch - Jen X
Hi there. Yup, me again, stealing Crickett's LiveJournal entry on the last day of the shoot for On Your Knees Bitch. I promise I will start writing in my own journal again...I have just been swamped with these productions...but we have a little break for now...not shooting again until the 12-14th.
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From Crickett's LiveJournal:
"Are you here for the alien holocaust?"
Monday afternoon, we finally wrapped up shooting the main scenes for On Your Knees, Bitch. There were two scenes to be shot, and while there are still a couple of surprises to shoot for the BTS, the movie is, for all intents and purposes, done. Well, it needs to be edited and suchlike, but shooting is mostly over.
We were in a studio in Downtown LA (I think...I'm still trying to figure out where the hell I am most of the time), and in the building that housed said studio were other studios as well. There was a sign on the door noting "Alien Holocaust - Upstairs, first door on the right", which made us blink and giggle a little bit. As we unloaded, a woman walked up to me carrying a garment bag and a duffle and said, "You look like you're on the crew - where do I go for the alien holocaust?" I replied that it was indeed upstairs, first door on the right. Load-in continued (no, I was a good girl and didn't lift anything inordinately heavy) and then I decided to take a trip up to the Winchell's that I'd seen on the corner. I'm homesick for Dunkin Donuts in a big fat way, and was sort of hoping that Winchell's could help me out. Let me tell you that should you choose to get one of their blended "coolatta" type drinks, the mocha cappuccino flavour made me want to take a nice wire brush to my tongue. Fucking vile. Anyhow, I picked up donuts for the rest of the class and as I was finishing my cigarette outside the studio, another woman approached me. "Are you here for Jeff's movie?", she asked. I'm thinkin'...Who? Tambour? Goldblum? Katzenberg? Foline? Jingleheimer Schmidt? Von Schnitzelpusskrankengesheitmeyer? JEFF WHO? So I simply replied, "Oh...do you mean the alien holocaust?" Yeah, that's what she meant. Apparently, Hooked On Phonics didn't work for her because even though she had peered at the sign on the door, I had to explain that it was upstairs, first door on the right.
Later, I was approached by ANOTHER woman in the hall who whispered, "Are you here for the alien holocaust?" I had to let her down and say that I wasn't, but I kindly pointed out the door through which she should enter if she was here for the alien holocaust. It would seem as though people involved in alien holocaust can't read.
In a funny turn of events, though, one of our girls wandered into the holocaust studio. She was asked what scene she was there for, and she said that it was VERY clear that she was in the wrong place by the looks on people's faces when she replied, "Um...the BJ scene? With the glory hole?" Serves 'em right, holocausting aliens like that.
kylie@kylieireland.com">kylie@kylieireland.com">Kylie on 08.05.05 @ 09:55 PM pt [link]
On Your Knees Bitch - Texas
from Crickett's LiveJournal cont.
So anyway, the lovely ladies showed up for our first scene, which was to be a "rock star and groupies in the backstage dressing room" setup. Our lovely Kyliepants owund up playing some manner of lackey in a cameo scene as our boytalent stormed through the backstage area barking out demands ("Where are my fuckin' BUNNY SLIPPERS???"). The boy, while braaaaaand new (this was his first scene evar!), did quite well under the pressure of having to perform with two extremely hot (and incredibly silly) little minkies by the names of Jen X (yes, the same one from the party) and Texas. They played the giggly groupies to a tee, and gave me some hysterical BTS footage when they weren't busy working.
kylie@kylieireland.com">kylie@kylieireland.com">Kylie on 08.05.05 @ 09:52 PM pt [link]
On Your Knees Bitch - Rock On!
The both of them AND their co-star J.C. Stinger, being quite silly (which was really the theme for the day).
from Crickett's LiveJournal cont.
After the pop was acheived (with NONE in Texas' hair, by request, and J.C. apologized profusely for the blob that he got in Jen's eye) and everyone was cleaned up, B. went out to find lunch-type foods, and we hung about being annoyed by some guy in an ugly green shirt who insisted on talking to us. Apparently he works at the studio, but he's an annoying piece of shit who needs to get busy with his own shoots and stop bothering the people who PAID TO RENT THE FUCKING STUDIO, KTHXDIE. He hovered over my BTS-shootin' shoulder, he kept asking who and what we were shooting next, he very nearly hung around to watch the second scene be shot (but B.'s Deathglare sent him plodding away). He's fired. Totally. Hate him.
kylie@kylieireland.com">kylie@kylieireland.com">Kylie on 08.05.05 @ 09:51 PM pt [link]
On Your Knees Bitch - Anna Mills
Anna Mills shows Annoying Green Shirt Man a little something that he can never have...
from Crickett's LiveJournal cont.
Then we ate foods, and laid around on the many couches, and petted the dog, and waited for the girl (Anna Mills) to arrive. She was coming straight from the airport, and we knew that going in, so it was no big deal. She showed up pretty much on schedule, just a hair late. Still, we had plenty time to get her into makeup and costume, shoot her Pretty Girls, and get the scene all set up. The boy arrived, another n00b by the name of Mike Blaze, and he performed admirably well too. Hooray for fresh meatsticks in the industry!!! It was even more remarkable that he did well, because the scene was indeed a glory hole scene, and it's quite difficult to perform under those circumstances (from what I hear...lacking a penis, I can't really say for sure).
And then we cleaned up, packed up, fucked off and then later went to House Of Pies. Whee!
-Crickett
kylie@kylieireland.com">kylie@kylieireland.com">Kylie on 08.05.05 @ 09:51 PM pt [link]
On Your Knees Bitch - Anna Mills+1
"God DAMN these Jack In The Box shakes are thick! I have to suck and suck and suck before I get ANYTHING!"
kylie@kylieireland.com">kylie@kylieireland.com">Kylie on 08.05.05 @ 09:50 PM pt [link]
Monday, August 1st
On Your Knees Bitch - Gabriella Banks
Crickett's LiveJournal...again. Hell, I have been buried in paperwork for the shoot all evening - I am thankful Crickett doesn't mind me plagerizing the hell out of her memories.
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Crickett's LiveJournal
"Because nothing says 'noodles' like a blowbang" - Eli Cross, porn director
Today we got up bright and squirrelly at 9:30am. We had two scenes to shoot for On Your Knees, Bitch, and the first call time was at 11. So up we got, and prepared the place for the first scene of the day, a blowbang.
For those of you who are a bit curious, a blowbang is like a gangbang, only with blowjobs. Somebody needed a name for one chick sucking a bunch of dicks at once, and "gangblow" didn't quite have the right ring to it, I guess. I couldn't come up with anything to replace "blowbang", even though I think it's a stupid term, so unless you folks have a better idea and we can convince Porn Valley that it's better, we're stuck with "blowbang" for now.
Our blowbang was to be one white girl, one white guy, and three black guys. Why yes, that *is* a lot of dick! The girl, Gabriella Banks, showed up right on time and got herself into makeup. We dressed the girl (taking only a small delay when Basil T. Kitten decided that he wanted to help lace the new ribbon into the corset, and I had to distract him with the old ribbon), shot her Pretty Girl photos, and the boys pretty much all showed up on time. Bishop, Lefty LaRue, Ace, and Jack Venice were our boys. Everything was going along great until we tried to pull up Bishop's most recent AIM test (that's Adult Industry Medical, where everyone in the biz goes to get tested for the HIV and the syph and the other Bad Things) and it wouldn't come up. Well, it came up that he doesn't have the HIV, but nothing else would come up, even though he tested on Thursday. So, despite the fact that we like Bishop and we're fairly certain that he's fine, because (apparantly) AIM couldn't get their shit together he lost out on a paying gig today. It was made worse by the fact that today is his kid's birthday and he bailed on him to work. He was nice about it though, and even stuck around for the scene. That's good, because hilarity ensued.
kylie@kylieireland.com">kylie@kylieireland.com">Kylie on 08.01.05 @ 01:18 AM pt [link]
On Your Knees Bitch - Blowin' da boyz
Crickett's LiveJournal cont.
Now, please take notice of the penis that you'd pick out if you were singing, "One of these things is not like the other". See that tattoo right where his manbush would be? Okay, it's a male symbol. Right above his peepee. Quite the prominent peepee it is, too, so why he'd need this particular reassurance inked into his skin, I do NOT know. But then, he also had a band of shotgun shells tattooed around his thigh, and an assortment of other dubious and puzzling tattoos scattered across his body. Who am I to judge how people decorate themselves? I'm merely here to observe, point, and laugh. So anyway, Whitey here was doing his best impression of Mister Softee for the first part of the scene. After our two black gentlemen entered the picture, he had NO PROBLEM keeping wood. Hmmmmm...maybe that's what that male symbol is all about...
Here's our girl, Gabriella, "bobbing for dicks" (as one of our talent so eloquently put it).
K. was (as always) as accomodating as possible to her talent, and today she served as inspiration for the boys. There she was, sitting outside camera range, with her skirt pulled up, her legs spread, and her tits out. FULL SERVICE DIRECTING, ITELLYOUWHUT! The boys looked over at her from time to time, a bit more often when they were getting themselves ready for the pop.
I have learned today that black men in porn are funny motherfuckers, and they say hysterical shit when they're getting their dicks sucked. At one point, Ace busted out with , "Damn! We didn't get 40 acres and a mule, but we got YOU!" Other very funny shit was said, and it was all that K., Bishop, and I could do not to just lose our minds laughing.
After everybody got cleaned up and left the building, K., B., K's webmaster/lighting dude and I all piled into the car and headed over to Little Tokyo for noodles and kibbutzing. Lunch at Mr. Ramen was dericious as always. We got back to the house all fed and happy, and since we are all still on a weird clock from the party, we took a nice nap. Mmm...nap.
kylie@kylieireland.com">kylie@kylieireland.com">Kylie on 08.01.05 @ 01:12 AM pt [link]
On Your Knees Bitch - Reina Leone
A little bit before 7, the talent for our next scene showed up. They had a call time later in the evening because we wanted it to be dark outside for the scene. Who better for a "cop gets a BJ" scene than Reina Leone and Joe Friday? Hell, he's already GOT the damn uniform!
Reina and Joe are former cops from the San Francisco area. They were part of a big debacle last year when those two cops were found out to be doing porn. You might have heard about it. So, they left the force and relocated to porn valley, where they've been merrily fornicating for cameras ever since.
Mmmm...how hot is Reina Leone???? WAY fucking hot.
kylie@kylieireland.com">kylie@kylieireland.com">Kylie on 08.01.05 @ 01:12 AM pt [link]
On Your Knees Bitch - Reina & Joe
Joe administers a new breathalyzer test...
Crickett's LiveJournal cont. cont.
Their scene was hot as hell, and K. definitely wants to work with them more in the future. They also happen to be damn cool people. I like 'em a lot. Reina's just the sweetest thing (with a dirty dirty mind) and Joe seems to be an all-around good guy. Also, might I mention that not only does he rock out the cop uniform but he ALSO happens to be a chef AND he bakes? He's also a damn good sport. (Thanks to Joe for humoring me and Kylie for taking the Pretty Boy photos.)
kylie@kylieireland.com">kylie@kylieireland.com">Kylie on 08.01.05 @ 01:11 AM pt [link]
On Your Knees Bitch - Joe in the kitchen
Hottt!
BTW - Joe and Reina promised to come on Kylie Live, my KSEX Radio show (www.ksexradio.com) this Thursday at 9 pm (pst)...
More from Crickett and myself tomorrow after the shoot. Tomorrow (Monday) we shoot the last 2 scenes for On Your Knees Bitch - the rocker and the groupies backstage and the bathroom gloryhole scene - so check back for pix and stories!
kylie@kylieireland.com">kylie@kylieireland.com">Kylie on 08.01.05 @ 01:11 AM pt [link]
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