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07/31/2005: "Kari's BDay cont."

Crickett's LiveJournal Entry cont.

After we realized that not only had people come to this party in a short bus, but that they had also brought a NANNY GOAT WITH THEM!!!!! Her name was Fran, and she was a round, black, friendly goat. We heart Fran.

Also, I met a hardcore knitter. Like, full-on hardcore. No, I really mean it. She was all covered in tattoos, and on the knuckles of her right hand, she had "KNIT" tattooed. On the left, she has "PURL". Hardfuckin'core.

Later on in the evening, things got drrrty. We sort of expected it, really. That's what happens when you have a party in a fully functional dungeon. However, with all the sex furniture and the Nookie Room and everything else, the bathroom seemed to be getting the most action of all. Odd. Pervs.



Jen X and our kickass bartender

As depravity began seeping into all of the corners of the house, it became necessary that somebody was going to have to ride the Sybian. (www.sybian.com) A Sybian, for those of you who aren't aware, is a $1400 vibrator. It's a Volkswagen motor enclosed in a nice housing with attachments. You just kneel over it, position yourself, and riiiiiide away! It rotates AND vibrates, and I've not met a woman yet who's ridden it and said that it wasn't the best thing ever. Jen X started things off, even though she said earlier in the party, "I am NOT gonna be the first one getting naked and ridin' that thing at this party". Famous last words. A couple of other partygoers gave it a whirl as well, with B. at the controls (hey, he knows how to drive the thing, what can I say?). Then Slappy got on. We're gonna call her Slappy not becuase she resembles an animated menopausal squirrel who'll shove dynamite down your pants, but because she will (at the slightest provocation) just fling her hand out and crack men across the face. Slappy got on and rode for a while. But then she decided that she needed a bigger attachment. She was offered a couple of different sizes, but she chose the biggest one. Ehm, just for the record? IT'S FUCKING HUGE. So she gets on and acclimates herself to the new GIANT ROTATING COCK inside her, and keeps saying that she wants B. to turn the thing up. I kept waiting for a plume of smoke to come out of the back of the machine. She rode it for 45 friggin' minutes. It was amazing. Later, we found her passed out in K.'s office with a shirt draped over her that one of the cats usually sleeps on.