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06/12/2005: "Erotica LA - day 2"
Lived through Day 2. It was your typical convention day. I was surprised at the amount of familiar faces I saw, fans and admirerers that I of course recongnized but can never remember names. That is my downfall - I never remember names. Quite a few KSEX Radio listeners too. Received lots of presents too. Someone thought I was Jewel DeNyle. Julie Night and I took a slow ride on the mechanical bull provided by the kind people over at AVN Magazine. (Photos to come.)
Once again, my friend Crickett's LiveJournal entry to amuse us all:
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From Crickett's LiveJournal
2:46 pm Erotica LA, Day 2
Well I said yesterday that I was going to look for Jimmy D and sure enough, I found him. We got out of the car and started walking toward the convention center only to find Himself having a grand old time verbally sparring with one of the (as Kylie calls them) God Botherers. Of course there was a video camera running, because our lovely Jimmy is quite the little press darling these days. We were attempting to stand to the side and let him have his spotlight, but of course he spotted us and called us over ("Excuse me, young lady! Would you come here for a moment?"). We wound up on camera too, and though I don't know if we'll survive the final cut, it was enough for us to have to sign releases. For MTV Networks. Which means, of course, that I've finally signed away my soul to de debbil. In perpetuity. Throughout the universe. And I didn't even get the scotch egg that I always put on my rider.
After that, we headed in to the convention itself and I managed to get Kylie to her booth without *too* much bother. It was definitely more packed than Friday, though, which made things difficult indeed.
What did I see? I saw a shitload of clowns (*twitch*) capering and frolicking around the mechanical bull (I wonder if they HAD to be there as part of the rental contract. "You vant bool? You take clowns."). I saw Kylie, who saw Hillary Scott eating a pickle. I saw Flower Tucci saying all the things that every other porn star that was signing there wanted to be saying. (They would all crowd around her ass, and kiss it, and put their noses in it, and she'd say things like, "Oops! I just farted!" or "Yeah...I think Lexington Steele's cum is still leakin' outta there" or "I wonder what they'd say if I told them I just took a HUGE dump?") I saw Barret Blade (if you've watched pr0n at my house, you know who he is, he's the delivery guy in that funny movie Sex In The Valley). I saw Ron Jeremy. I saw Kylie blush.
What did I get? I did NOT get nachos. I got a t-shirt proclaming that I have a Tight Box, and indeed I may by the end of the day today. They're nifty, and Kylie wants one too. Doesn't EVERYONE want a Tight Box??? I got Sum Poosie, and I'll tell you all about that later. I got groped by a male porn star/stoner extraordinaire Chris Evans, who reassured me that we didn't have to even have sex, he could just lick my pussy for an hour or so. Then he gnawed on my breast some more. I got told that I smell good. I got a t-shirt from Jimmy D that says, "Jesus Loves Porn Stars". I got some knitting done.
Later in the evening, when it was time for me to take a cigarette break, I had the distinct pleasure of happening upon two of the wizened, embittered (but still quite amusing) Elders of the porn biz out kibbutzing near the convention center entrance. The goofy and sweaty Jimmy D (this time, amazingly, sans video crew) and the lovely and disgruntled David Aaron Clark (who sends me nice emails). I sat at their feet (well, not literally) and soaked up the wisdom being casually tossed out, made a few wisecracks, and sent the men on their way. It ws time for me to go back inside.
We were fucking beat by the time we closed out the day, but we came back to the house, got some clothes on the whore, and went to the dinner store. Dinner turned out to be had at a place called Alexander's Brite Spot. Damn them, they had no hash browns, but they did have lovely bacon. It's a damn cool place, and the upholstery on the booths is a shiny shiny deeeeep red colour that I love. However, everyone knows it's cool because the goddamn clowns showed up (*shudder*). Seemed like they had an awfully big vehicle for so few clowns...
Then we came back here, cracked each other up for a while, and I herded Kylie to bed. BAAAAAA!!!! BAA! But she fended me off by whacking me in the tit with a giant lady bug. Too bad the webcams were down. Heh. That woulda been damn funny for her to have to explain to some totally confused fan.
Now? I have to go bathe my monkey ass so that we can wrap this damn thing up. Day Three, comin' atcha like a load in the eye. Now I know where to find Justine Joli, so I'm gonna pester her like mad. Hooray for pestering!
Okay, I go now. I smell, and I'd rather leave that to the mobs of drooling fans.
Crickett
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